Greetings sports fans! With much fanfare and anticipation, the second season of the Northern Wastes Blood Bowl League is under way! And with ten teams now competing for the trophy, it was decided that the league would be split into two divisions, with each team playing their divisional opponents twice before the top two teams from each division progressing to the play-offs.
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The first match of Division One saw the Doom Lords play host to to the Granitebeard Grumblers. As the game kicked off, the winds of Chaos, true to their fickle nature, delivered perfect blood bowl weather offset by a psychotic referee who proceeded to stun Mornaargh Killbound and Thorek Ironhorn before the game had even got under way. This early display of violence acted as something of a portent of what was to come as Blocker Thorif Ironface was soon knocked out whilst trying to tackle Khonach Gorefeast and Trollslayer Kamnic introduced Zhorgrok Gnarltsk to the welcoming arms of the crowd. The partizan local crowd caring little for who they beat up and the Beastman was duly beaten up and will miss the next game.
Not to be outdone by his Trollslaying team mate, Thogek badly hurt Beastman Gholgur Thundercleaver, but the dwarf defensive line was beginning to splinter and present opportunities for the Doom Lords. Protecting the ball carrier, several Chosen Blockers and Beastman Runners advanced determinedly up the wing and, despite the best efforts of Runner Flint Lightfoot, Beastman Obhgus Manbane crossed the whitewash for the opening score for the home side. The Grumblers duly received the kick off but there was only enough time on the clock for Mornaargh Killbound to break Thorek Ironhorn's arm before the referee blew for half time with the score at 1-0 to the Doom Lords.
The Doom Lords began the second half by receiving the ball but quickly had their enthusiasm dampened as Thogek injured Zhorgrok Gnarltusk causing him to miss the next game. Undeterred, Beastman Udhgush Slaughterfur advanced down the pitch with the support of Khonach Gorefeast only for Barak Gritflinger to knock out Gorefeast, whilst Slaughterfur turned the ball over and straight into the hands of Blitzer Gromnir Stoneshoulder.
At this point a general melee broke out across the pitch and although Mazerakh Hidebrand injured Gromnir Stoneshoulder, the blitzer had already handed the ball off to Lightfoot. And, capitalising on a gap in the Doom Lords’ defence caused by a berserk Kamnic who pushed Udhgush Slaughterfur into the crowd and knocked out Krolok Bloodbreaker, Lightfoot ran in the touchdown which ensured that the game ended all even at 1 touchdown apiece!
The second match of Division One saw the Glow Worm Goobers, with bribes stuffed in their pockets and a brace of Bloodweiser Babes cheering them on from the sidelines, take on the Imperial Nobles of the Arthurian Cycle.
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And, with a crowd consisting of 3,000 gibbering goblins and 2,000 bewildered peasants at fever pitch, the game began with the Cycle kicking down field to the Goobers, who instantly formed a cage around their Pogoer, Funguy. Whilst both Glow Worm trolls kept Ogre Mordred occupied on the line of scrimmage, the goblin looney lurched forward and found the unfortunate Lady Elaine who was duly knocked to the floor. Whilst the good lady gathered her senses the looney launched another attack on her only to fumble his chain saw and stun himself in the process. Elsewhere, Goblin Mouldy stunned Sir Lancelot and Mordred knocked himself out whilst blocking an unexpectedly hard wearing goblin lineman.
Despite gaining the advantage in the numbers on the pitch, the Goobers’ handling left a lot to be desired and the ball bounced free, which presented Sir Lancelot with an opportunity to score. Fortunately for the Goobers, a troll was on hand to put an end to the prospect of a Cycle score as Lancelot was dispatched, special delivery, to see matron in the knocked out tent. At this point, the half time hooter sounded with both teams scoreless.
The Goobers opened the second half with a kick that landed just inside the Cycle’s half and allowed King Arthur to scoop up the ball and head down field, at the rush, straight into a goblin mugging gang and the ball again bounced free. Elsewhere, however, one of the Goobers’ trolls stunned himself spectacularly by spreading projectile vomit all over his trousers and Sir Galahad and Lady Elaine combined to allow the Linewoman to run in the opening score of the game!
With a quarter of the match remaining the Cycle kicked off with the hopes of holding onto their slender lead. Whilst Funguy picked up the ball deep in the Goober half, Mordred, only just returned to consciousness, attempted to foul a goblin and was duly sent off by the officious referee, much to the delight of the Goober fans.
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With the clock running down and the end of the match firmly in sight, Funguy began to bound down the pitch in an audacious effort to level the scores. As the remaining Cycle players formed a defensive shield to prevent a break through, Funguy hopped clean over the defence and continued his race towards the end zone. With only Galahad in a position to prevent the score, the lineman let out a cry of "our Lady of the Lake fail me not nowe!”, and hurled himself at Funguy only to fall flat on his face just inches from his target. Funguy hopped over the line and the match ended with the scores level at 1-1.
Division Two of the Northern Wastes League got underway on a very sunny day in the sweltering Lustrian jungles as the Spawned Specials played host to the Southern Steppe Stonehorns. Having won the toss, the Stonehorns elected to receive the opening kick and plucky gnoblar Thork picked up the ball downfield and headed towards the Lizardman half, hoping beyond hope that the Ogre front line can create a gap through which he could squeeze. On the line, Ogre Grognok Grot Hurler quickly knocked out a Saurus but gnoblar Brard left himself with in striking distance of Saurus Critloa who promptly dispatched the gnoblar to the badly hurt section of the dugout.
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As the Stonehorns continued their advance downfield, Grognok Grot Hurler, seeking revenge for his favourite gnoblar Brard, smashed the knee of the Kroxigor Tozcoux taking him out of the game and leaving a large enough gap through which Thork and his Gnoblar escort could dash and head towards the end zone. In an attempt to prevent Thork reaching the end zone, a general melee broke out across the pitch, during which Ogre Crus Skull Splitter was dropped by a particularly courageous Skink. But it was all for nought as, just before the half time hooter, Thork crossed the line for the opening score.
The second half began with the Specials receiving the kick off and launching an attack down the left flank of the Stonehorns. In response, the Stonehorns launched their own attack in the form of two airborne gnoblars who landed behind the Specials’ line and scurried through a forest of Saurus legs in order to surround the Specials’ ball carrier Chameleon Skink Tuctuquc. Unable to fend off the Gnoblar assault, Tuctuquc was knocked out and the ball spilled loose.
Gnoblar Rindivir picked up the ball and promptly set off towards the end zone with the visiting Stonehorns fans roaring him on. Meanwhile, Grognok Grot Hurler, clearly bored with proceedings, attempted to hurl Causo down the pitch only for the unfortunate Gnoblar to land on Julsok, knocking him out, bounce onto, and badly hurt, Grisnak before stunning himself. Further up the pitch, Rindivir ran in the second Stonehorn’s score for the visitors to take a 2-0 lead.
The Stonehorns restarted the match with a kick into Specials’ territory. Whilst time was not favouring the Lizards getting anything more than a consolation score, the Stonehorns were determined to hold onto their clean sheet. Quickly managing to wrench possession back to the Stoenhorns, Turgod Iron Fist attempted an audacious throw to land the ball carrying Gnoblar Wexfud precisely into the end zone. Unfortunately fort Wexfud, precision and throwing Gnoblars are not comfortable bed fellows. Wexfud landed short, knocked himself out and the game was brought to a conclusion with an impressive 2-0 win for the Stonehorns.
The second match of Division Two saw the Hambledown Hotdogs play host to the Badland Scabs. After a slap up lunch of pork pies, potted pheasant, and devilled eggs, both teams made their way onto the pitch for the Hotdogs to receive the opening kick. After a wayward kick, Hefty Gaffo Guzzlewit secured the touchback and the halfling attack moved down the pitch with Treemen Maple Cedarcrown and Greyback Highgrove holding firm in the centre. So firm in fact that they rapidly took root and remained there for the duration of the first half. In the mean time, the Hotdog attack advanced down the right flank, spear headed by the Ogre star player Grak, who quickly consigned the Scabs' Looney John the Entirely Sane Parsnip to the sloppy end of the dug out. Cedarcrown then launched the Hotdog Catcher Merregar Quickfoot deep into the Scabs half only for a reception party led by Burgot Blacktoe to send him off to the infirmary.
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Despite Grak continuing on the warpath by injuring Wendel Wartpicka and Burgot Blacktoe, the Scabs defence began to halt the Hotdog momentum with Scaberous Tony using a stiletto knife to dispatch Gaffo Guzzlewit and Halwise Havelock to the dugout. The ball was soon turned over to the Scabs and, with the clock running down, Furgus Dribblesnot went on the offensive. The aerial route was chosen but Troll Finkle Manmasha decided now was the time to eat, rather than throw, Dribblesnot. The goblin was fortunate enough to squirm free but knocked himself out in the process. Halftime was called and the scores remained 0-0.
The second half saw the Scabs receiving the ball but only managing to the muster 7 players to the Hotdog’s 10. As the Hotdogs’ defence pushed across the line of scrimmage, Finkle Manmasha once again attempted to throw the ball carrier but this time succeeded in launching Snide Peter downfield. Peter landed right on top of Gonriadoc Farthingale, stunning the halfling but also landing in a snotty mess himself. This allowed star halfing Crumbleberry to scoop up the ball, run down the pitch and hand off to Mayo Kettlebright who crossed the whitewash for the opening score. With the partisan home crowd in full voice, Neddly Clumpthistle tackled Snide Peter off the pitch and the Hotdog victory was secured as Maple Cedarcrown perfectly launched Mayo Kettlebright over the remaining Scabs for the halfling to run in his second touchdwon of the game. The full-time whistle was duly sounded with the Hotdogs taking the win and both teams heading to the Blue Boar public house for ale, sausage rolls, and much slapping of backs and bottoms.